When I actually worked--a word in my vocabulary that has also retired--I was a dyed in the wool list maker. And for good reason: I was--am--a dyed in the wool forgetter. While my lists kept me ontrack in day-to-day life, the lists Karen Wolrond makes will keep your life on track. See what you think.
http://www.chookooloonks.com/blog/
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Why I Like Being Old
Grandmomma: Here’s your sprinkler for the water hose.
Megan: What took you so long?
Grandmomma: I’m old!
Megan: Do you like being old?
This is what I’ve dubbed a “whiplash” question because such a question makes your head whip around so fast that you could get whiplash. I wanted to quote that old saying, “Beats the alternative,” but her question set me to thinking. How do I feel about being old? If you have to do something like live, you might as well be happy about it.
Inside of ole saggy baggy is a 25 year old. (The number gets higher as I get older.) The evidence is pretty strong, however, that I am actually (a lot!) older than that. For one thing, I remember too many family firsts: first television, first air conditioner, first clothes dryer. On the other wrinkled hand, some of the things that I remember are extinct: Fizzies, Brilcreme, aluminum ice trays with pull handles, blue jean stretchers, and Howdy Doody. Hopefully, these will stay extinct.
One aspect of oldness that has increased the enjoyment of my position on the time line is changing the goals that I had in my foolish and ill-spent youth. These are goals which will effect every one of the remaining days of my life. My new goals are 1) comfort, 2) ease, and 3) cheapness. To insure Comfort, I have replaced my jeans and t-shirts with pajamas. I bought a new set, today, to further progress towards this goal. They were on sale at Cato’s. (Read further for comments regarding cheapness.) Comfort + coolness + easy care = triple score! As for the second goal, Easy, there are several worn (I am intimately aquainted with that word.) phrases that though seen everywhere are extremely important in attaining my new goals. Some examples are “premixed“, “complete kit“, “one step“, “heat and eat“. You get the picture. Concerning my third goal, Cheap is not an offensive word. (I offer the fact that it has 5 letters, not 4 as evidence.) Some would use the word economical in order to disguise the truth of their mission, but economical is a ten dollar word for a ten cent meaning and my clock is ticking towards elderly, so let’s just be honest, cut to the chase, and use the word cheap. I do admit that the word chase troubles me. It implies speed, which has passed, pardon the pun, from my life. To attain the goal of Cheap, I buy on sale or pick up reduced items and stay out of Sam’s because they are liars. The prices are the same as Wal-Mart’s and NObody needs 40 pounds of fiber rich cereal for improved colon health!
One of my favorite aspects of being old is the casual attitude that has oozed into my life. (and is threatening to flood and drown me) There are two sides to this. Others expect less of me--which is a mistake. I can still make oodles of no sense, screw up royally, and create just as big a mess right in the middle of the living room as when I was numerically young. Such episodes are met with shrugs and mutterings beneath the breath of, “She’s old.“ In addition, my own attitude has shifted. (That word holds special meaning for me.) The high standards I once held for myself have moseyed on down life’s road to plague some youngster who still believes in pride, progress, and self improvement. The crème may rise to the top, but it can turn to butter if too much shaking up occurs. I know this because that butter is stuck on my thighs.
Being old entitles me to perks that aren’t offered to those who are still in the early developmental stages. Consider these rewards for taking one step at a time with your walker towards another year: cheap sleep at Best Western , Picadilly‘s senior plates, reduced rate romps with Mickey and/or Minnie at Disney World , Dillard‘s discounts for seniors, and Rite Aid’s senior days. With all these senior offerings, I feel like I should graduate from something, but I’m afraid to ask what it is. There are also no charge checking accounts at the bank and special travel deals where strong people carry your luggage. The older we get and burden social security, the more gifts we get to make up for the lack of cost of living raises.
So, Megan, asker of whiplash questions, I do like being old. It does beat the alternative in most ways. After all, the next step is Heaven. Family is my favorite part of being old. My three contributions to the next generation are much gladder to see me than when they were teenagers. My daughters have taken over holiday cooking. My grandchildren think my vintage clothes from the 60s and 70s are kewl. These three things are great reasons to like being old, but there are six other good reasons: Megan, Katie, Kimmie, Aaron, Jasmine, and Natalie. In fact, these are the best reasons of all. Heaven, if it doesn’t mind, can wait. I want to hang with my grandpeeps a bit longer.
Megan: What took you so long?
Grandmomma: I’m old!
Megan: Do you like being old?
This is what I’ve dubbed a “whiplash” question because such a question makes your head whip around so fast that you could get whiplash. I wanted to quote that old saying, “Beats the alternative,” but her question set me to thinking. How do I feel about being old? If you have to do something like live, you might as well be happy about it.
Inside of ole saggy baggy is a 25 year old. (The number gets higher as I get older.) The evidence is pretty strong, however, that I am actually (a lot!) older than that. For one thing, I remember too many family firsts: first television, first air conditioner, first clothes dryer. On the other wrinkled hand, some of the things that I remember are extinct: Fizzies, Brilcreme, aluminum ice trays with pull handles, blue jean stretchers, and Howdy Doody. Hopefully, these will stay extinct.
One aspect of oldness that has increased the enjoyment of my position on the time line is changing the goals that I had in my foolish and ill-spent youth. These are goals which will effect every one of the remaining days of my life. My new goals are 1) comfort, 2) ease, and 3) cheapness. To insure Comfort, I have replaced my jeans and t-shirts with pajamas. I bought a new set, today, to further progress towards this goal. They were on sale at Cato’s. (Read further for comments regarding cheapness.) Comfort + coolness + easy care = triple score! As for the second goal, Easy, there are several worn (I am intimately aquainted with that word.) phrases that though seen everywhere are extremely important in attaining my new goals. Some examples are “premixed“, “complete kit“, “one step“, “heat and eat“. You get the picture. Concerning my third goal, Cheap is not an offensive word. (I offer the fact that it has 5 letters, not 4 as evidence.) Some would use the word economical in order to disguise the truth of their mission, but economical is a ten dollar word for a ten cent meaning and my clock is ticking towards elderly, so let’s just be honest, cut to the chase, and use the word cheap. I do admit that the word chase troubles me. It implies speed, which has passed, pardon the pun, from my life. To attain the goal of Cheap, I buy on sale or pick up reduced items and stay out of Sam’s because they are liars. The prices are the same as Wal-Mart’s and NObody needs 40 pounds of fiber rich cereal for improved colon health!
One of my favorite aspects of being old is the casual attitude that has oozed into my life. (and is threatening to flood and drown me) There are two sides to this. Others expect less of me--which is a mistake. I can still make oodles of no sense, screw up royally, and create just as big a mess right in the middle of the living room as when I was numerically young. Such episodes are met with shrugs and mutterings beneath the breath of, “She’s old.“ In addition, my own attitude has shifted. (That word holds special meaning for me.) The high standards I once held for myself have moseyed on down life’s road to plague some youngster who still believes in pride, progress, and self improvement. The crème may rise to the top, but it can turn to butter if too much shaking up occurs. I know this because that butter is stuck on my thighs.
Being old entitles me to perks that aren’t offered to those who are still in the early developmental stages. Consider these rewards for taking one step at a time with your walker towards another year: cheap sleep at Best Western , Picadilly‘s senior plates, reduced rate romps with Mickey and/or Minnie at Disney World , Dillard‘s discounts for seniors, and Rite Aid’s senior days. With all these senior offerings, I feel like I should graduate from something, but I’m afraid to ask what it is. There are also no charge checking accounts at the bank and special travel deals where strong people carry your luggage. The older we get and burden social security, the more gifts we get to make up for the lack of cost of living raises.
So, Megan, asker of whiplash questions, I do like being old. It does beat the alternative in most ways. After all, the next step is Heaven. Family is my favorite part of being old. My three contributions to the next generation are much gladder to see me than when they were teenagers. My daughters have taken over holiday cooking. My grandchildren think my vintage clothes from the 60s and 70s are kewl. These three things are great reasons to like being old, but there are six other good reasons: Megan, Katie, Kimmie, Aaron, Jasmine, and Natalie. In fact, these are the best reasons of all. Heaven, if it doesn’t mind, can wait. I want to hang with my grandpeeps a bit longer.
Sweet, Spirit Lifting Video
May God bless you with a person who will share joy and fun like these two do. Thank you to the person who shared it first.
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1184460703200
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1184460703200
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)